Breaking (up with) Bad (humans)

We celebrate all aspects of non-toxic living here at Free Living Co.  The obvious toxins we avoid include ingredients like parabens, pthalates, fragrance, among thousands of other restricted ingredients that do our health harm.  But we are an equal opportunity company and we believe all toxins are, well, toxic including some of the humans you may interact with.  We've all had them in various forms from the mean girl in high school, to the controlling love interest, to the colleague at work that seems to want to burn the office down with you in it.

You know the type, they are hyper-consumptive of your emotional wellbeing, taxing on your physical energy, a life-suck on your soul.  They are like a mosquito that not only buzzes your head all night long, but takes little tiny bites of you as you unsuccessfully try to shoo it away, leaving you scorned, irritated, (itchy), and feeling like "how did this happen?!"  Just like the endocrine disruptors, the cancer causers, the autoimmune irritators, the question isn't how to effectively manage them, the question is how to ged rid of them!

Toxic Human Spotting 101

Drama, Drama, Drama:  they live real life like The Real Housewives of (name your town)? 

Emotional Vampires:  They suck your joy, they dull your sparkle, they tame your high vibes, they tell you to sit when your inner voice is telling you to soar?

Celebration Saboteurs:  Have you gone somewhere awesome, done something amazing, experienced something unique and they undermine, bash, "unlike" anything to do with it?

It's all about them:  Do you know everything about their dog's life, what they ate the past 10 meals, their pet peeves, what they listen to, watch, what makes them pass gas, and yet you're pretty sure they don't know that you're vegetarian?  

Did you answer yes to any of those Toxic Human Spotting 101 questions?  Who has time for that $#!?  Oprah once said that you can't be friends with anyone who is jealous of you.  And if Oprah said it.... #facts.

Trimming the fat

Setting Emotional Boundaries:  In some cases it may not be realistic to trim them completely out of your life - like if they are your boss, your neighbor, or your kid's best friend's parent.  You can't control their presence but you can certainly control your interaction with it.  Carry a positive but neutral presence when you interact with them.  Don't over-engage, but also don't ignore.  Sounds about at easy as solving an unsolved mystery, we know, but strive.

Slow Fade (Away):  Slowly & consciously distance yourself and your interactions.  Set some "hard no's" and "may considers" when it comes to time & places you may run into them.  Any voluntary activity on their turf for example may qualify as a "hard no".  Social settings on neutral turf where you know you will have lots of positive energy to dampen the impact could qualify as a "may consider".  In making these decisions, approach it at a time when emotion or FOMO is not likely to persuade your decision and stick to the parameters you set for yourself.

There's a New #1:  Prioritize the people, places, and experiences that fill your cup, and opt out of anyone or thing that doesn't.  You may find that the toxic influences become no longer relevant.  Like attracts like, and it is likely that things that fill your cup don't fill theirs.

The Graceful Exit:  If there is a graceful way to ask for space, do so.   This may not be super welcomed and they may appear to be angry, but once your point is made and your paths diverge, the reward for you may be worth it.  And at the end of the day, their happiness is not your problem.  

Finding Your Tribe:  Where thoughts go, energy flows.  Instead of focusing your attention on the toxicity of the person you don't want in your life, let that fade into the background and focus your thoughts and energy on the people you do want in your life.  All of a sudden your tribe will emerge and that bright light will squelch any toxic strains that remain.

Here's to living life not toxic.  ✌️ 

Written by:
Dana Grinnell, founder and CEO of Free Living Co.